Hi all – bit of a random title here for me. But seeing as I’m currently sat here awaiting a consultation with my GP, my over-riding general feeling is guilt – very misplaced guilt – but guilt all the same.
Let me give you some background. Yesterday I woke early in the morning with, what I knew, was going to be a migraine. Even after taking painkillers an hour later I was vomiting and continued to do so all day. My head was feeling like it was going to explode with the pain and in all honesty I wanted to go to A and E but felt too ill to get there Ha!
Today I feel better but very weak and wobbly and frightened that the pain will come back – and on top of all this I feel GUILT!
Guilty that I had to phone in sick, knowing I’m leaving them short-staffed.
Guilty that I had to wake up 1st born to get his sisters to school yesterday.
Guilty that I had to ring Jeff to come home from work as I felt so ill.
Guilty that my little doggie didn’t go out at all yesterday – infact she didn’t leave my bedside – not even to have her dinner – that’s true love – even Jeff and the kids still ate their dinner – but she didn’t ❤️
Guilty that I’m making too much of a fuss and wasting my doctors time.
Oh fuck I know the guilt is so wrong – I’m an intelligent woman – I know I have no reason to feel guilty so why do I? Why do I always feel guilty for being ill?
If someone else spoke like this I would give them a short sharp talking to but I would also understand because as women I think we do carry a lot of weight on our shoulders and possibly take on everyone else’s worries too.
I will resume to my happy self very soon – if you’ve managed to read this far down, I applaud you, it’s not very interesting reading – I know 😳
I now feel guilty for boring the arse of you all 😜