To kill a Mocking Bird

My favourite all time book and film!

This evening I made 3rd born sit and watch this film with me.  I told her she may not understand it all now – but I wanted her to always remember watching it with me and never forget the values and integrity this film portrays.  I also want her to never forget the injustice and how cruel and judgemental people can be.

I thought I may have to prod her to keep her awake – but there was no need ❤️

There was also no need to explain the tears that always come at the end of this film – she understood.

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No charge …..

Arowyn was busy trying to earn some extra pocket money by doing jobs for me.  I was well happy with this, teaching her that if she wants something in life, she must work for it.

However, it all started to get abit ridiculous when she began charging me for absolutely everything she was doing 😳

“Right then” she says “That’s 10p for fetching your slippers, 50p for tidying my bedroom …….”

It was when she asked me how much I was going to pay her for, wait for it, “Eating her tea” that I decided enough was enough.  I sat her on my lap and put on a track on the computer

Tammy Wynette – No Charge.

I cuddled her closely as we listened to the track together, listening to the little girl charging her Mom for everything and then the Mom replying:

For carrying you for 9 months – No charge

For loving and caring for you – No charge

For feeding and clothing you – No charge

And when you add it all up – the true cost of my love is No charge  ❤️

Arowyn sat there quietly as I wiped a tear from my eye and swallowed the lump in my throat.

“How much do I owe you now?” I asked her, smiling at her little face.

She stroked my cheek and replied

“Right then, for fetching your slippers 10p, for tidying my bedroom 50p …………………”

I try – I really do try 😄😄😄😄

Love is ……..

A House becomes a Home when you see a little message saying “I love you!” written in the dust on the furniture 😍😍

 

 

 

Forgotten love letters 😍

Had a good old clear out in the girls bedroom.  No less than six bags of rubbish we collected!😳

We always try to recycle old toys and books and give to the charity shop but it’s a nightmare because as soon as the girls set eyes on something they haven’t seen or played with in years – they want to keep it 😳

Arowyn was desperately trying to hang on to a one-legged Baby Annabel, nothing wrong with that – but when Baby Annabel’s eyes have somehow been poked into her squashed head – I’m rather worried about nightmares! 😳

Lana gets around the whole thing by declaring her toys and books are “too poor, for the poor” so she must keep them! 😄

One thing we did find though, was a letter that Arowyn had written to Olly Murs 3 years ago – when she was about 8 years old 😍😍

Amongst great praise for his musical talents she wrote, and I quote:

“Please come to my house , my Mom won’t mind – she likes boys and she would like to “MEAT” you!” 😄😄😄😄😄

The tables turned 😄

I went up to see first borns new flat with him last night.  It was dark and I tripped up the outdoor steps and fell flat on my face 😄

I was snorting with laughter as I rolled along the path, thinking it was all very amusing – saying his new neighbours will assume he’s got a drunk old woman coming home with him 😄

Instead of laughing with me – he told me off as he pulled me to my feet

“For fucks sake Mother, you got to be careful, you’ll hurt your dodgy wrists or break a hip” 😄

He was looking after me – suddenly I had became the clumsy careless child – and him the responsible parent!  I hope this continues and I can rely on him to bring me a bag of shopping and warm up my soup in my old age! 😜

Happy birthday Chris ❤️

24 years ago, there you arrived

Placed in my arms, happy tears I cried

I looked at you, amazed and in awe

Of this tiny creation, I had bore

 

So beautiful, so perfect

Ten fingers, ten toes

Silky black hair

A small button nose

 

Now you’re all grown up

I see the man you’ve become

I’m so proud and happy

Of my first-born Son ❤️

 

Happy Birthday Tin, love always xx

Moving Day 😳

Today first born collects the keys to his new flat and officially leaves home.  I didn’t really class it as him leaving home when he went to University – I knew he would be home during holidays and most of his stuff stayed with us.

But today, this is different – I know it’s his forever move.  I know he won’t come home again, not because he wouldn’t be welcome, but because – It’s Time 😳

It’s also his birthday tomorrow so I’ve got him loads of exciting things like a clothes horse and a pizza cutter 😄 I’m also going to be getting him an iron – don’t want any of those clothes finding their way back home to me 😜

I feel my little chick is leaving the nest and whilst I’m so happy for him – I will miss him terribly 😕

So go fly, fly high my first born love, you were such a beautiful endearing child, with your sweet kind nature, you always shared your love and your belongings as a child and have continued to do so for the rest of your growing years with your little brother and two little sisters ❤️

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I wish you love, success and happiness in all you do ❤️

 

SHIT – I’ve just realised its April Fools Day!!!!! 😜😜😜😜

 

 

 

 

One year on ……

21st March 2015 – one year on ……..

It’s been a long hard year without you.  There has been so many times I’ve heard or seen something and thought “Oh I must tell Mom about that” and then it hits me that I will never be able to do that again.

I still have your name on my phone, so everytime Paul rings me, it comes up “Mom” calling – and for that split second – I forget.

I had a dream whilst sleeping during the day, after a nightshift.  There was no one in the house, but I heard a noise downstairs.  In my sleepy state I remember thinking “It’s alright, it’s only Mom” I then laid there and thought I better go downstairs and put the tv on for you – you would be bored sat down there on your own whilst I slept. I then thought I should get up, maybe take you into town to look round the shops but I was so tired and fell back to sleep.  When I finally did wake up – and remembered – it made me so sad – so sad for every missed opportunity I had to spend time with you – I knew it was a dream – but I wished I had gone downstairs anyway – just in case.

On the brighter side, I don’t cry so much anymore – I know you would want us all to remember you with a smile on our face and laughter bubbling away inside.  But every now and again, when I’m walking Peppa I look up to the sky and wonder where you’ve gone.

I can still hear your voice and your laughter.  I can still feel your poor little hands in mine and how I was the only one you let cut your finger nails.  Your hands were so twisted I would be laid on the floor nearly upside down to try and cut them – without cutting you.

I still haven’t been able to listen to our beloved Riverdance, but I think I will soon.  That music was ours, our shared love – and I know you will be kicking your legs alongside me when I finally play it again x

I hope you can see us all and share with all our happy moments and support us through the tough times we’ve had.  We’re all doing ok 😊

I love and miss you everyday – until I see you again – rest peacefully up your beautiful hills ❤️

 

 

 

Memories ❤️

My Facebook status for this day – last year ………..

Took the girls up to visit Mom at the hospital this morning – they understand she’ll be on her journey soon and wanted to see her – Lana looked at me and said “Will there be tears today?” I replied “Hopefully not” ❤️

Afterwards I took them for some lunch before returning to school.  Lana said “Wait – before we eat, we must say Homen”

Me and Arowyn looked puzzled – till she put her little hands together, closed her eyes and said

“Dear Jesus, thank you for our food – Homen” 😊

My attempt at photography

That figure, highlighted by the sunbeam, jumping into the sea, is Jeff 😊