Category Archives: humor

Kids nowadays 😳

Seriously, what is wrong with kids nowadays? 😳

I had 2 of Lana’s Β little boyfriends in the car the other day. Β I was playing a cd and turned it off as we pulled onto the driveway.

“Phew” said one of them

“What’s the matter” I asked the little 8 year old “Don’t you like my music?”

“I do Lisa” he replied “but you have it far too loud” πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

It’s Led Zeppelin – of course it’s bloody loud! πŸ˜„πŸŽΈπŸŽ€


Night time company πŸ˜ƒ

I’m a lone worker on a night shift. Β Having such a manic household I do like the peace and solitude of a night shift.

Most importantly I do my job, but in between I read and entertain myself – I rather like Me and laugh at all my own jokes, just in case no one else does! πŸ˜„

However I do get company sometimes. Β Tonight’s company is a frog 🐸 We get a lot of frogs in the building. Β I’m rather fond of them and usually try to catch them and put them outside, but this little one sat in the darkened corridor and I gave him an unintentional boot up the hallway 😳 I was mortified but glad to say he appears none the worse for wear – I’m now worrying that he may be My Prince and he’s shit scared of me now and won’t stay still long enough for me to kiss him! 😜

Saturday night’s company wasn’t quite so pleasant! Β Something caught my eye – a black “dinner plate” ran down the curtain πŸ‘€ I did attempt to try and catch this huge beast but he disappeared – and I spent the rest of my shift just knowing he was going to put on an appearance. Β When I told a colleague about it, she happily reassured me “I bet that was a Corn Spider” 😳 Am I supposed to feel happy knowing that???? Am I supposed to feel reassured – now I know what sort of spider it was???

I’ve decided to name him Colin the Corn Spider in the hope this will lesson my terror of him 😳

Have a good week folks, hope the sun continues to shine β˜€οΈβ˜€οΈ

Facing your fears πŸ˜³

I’m shit scared of horses.

Apologies to all you horsey folk. Β I have horsey friends, who I know look at me and “snort” – get it 😜 – with disgust at this statement. Β But there you have it.

3rd born seems to have taken a shine to these creatures and was telling me how much she enjoyed going up to the stables with a friend to help muck out and whatever else you have to do 😳

I confessed to her that I have always been frightened. Β I told her how I was badly bitten as a child – by a horse, not another child! Β It was possibly one of the very few times my Dad was in charge of me – and my hand nearly got bitten off! Β It was his/my fault – not the horses fault – but I was only 3 years old – as a consequence, he wasn’t allowed to take me out again and the only horses he came into contact with after that was at the Bookies πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

After my confession to her I kind of expected her to, I dunno, be a little understanding or at least rather touched that I had shared my fear with her little kind heart ………. ❀️

She looked at me with pity and said “Sometimes Mom, you have to just face your fears, instead of running away from them!!!!” 😨

I had to nearly bite my tongue in half as I was tempted to remind her how I helped her “fight her fears” of

sleeping in her own bed

eating peas and reassuring her they wouldn’t grow in her tummy

having a poo on the potty – and no, she wouldn’t fall into the toilet

her first day of nursery and that I would return to get her

Oh there are so many more I could mention πŸ˜„

I think I’ve managed to get by ok so far without facing my fear of horses – and I’m rather fond of Donkeys and they’re nearly a horse – aren’t they? 🐴🐴

Taking advantage 😳

Hope everyone is doing ok πŸ˜ƒ I’ve gone a bit AWOL with it being Summer Holidays and trying to balance working night shifts with the girls. Β To be fair they’ve been little stars and on the whole let me have the odd hour to sleep off being awake all night. Β Infact they were so good today and only woke me 15 times in 2 hours I’ve decided to unlock them from the garden shed tomorrow 😜

I get so sleep deprived that I will happily agree to all kinds of requests and never remember a bloody thing when I wake up properly. Β Today I’ve apparently agreed to 3rd born having a sleepover for her 11th birthday at the end of the month – half a dozen 11 year old girls – plus a couple of extras for 4th born 😳

Bearing all this in mind and due to numbers of children inhibiting the household I’ve decided the parents of invited guests must stay also …………..

The invitations are on their way to David Beckham’s children and Brad Pitt’s 😜

Another year goes by πŸ˜„

I had such a lovely birthday yesterday πŸ˜„ I began the day by completely exploiting 3rd and 4th born and demanding cups of tea in bed – I stopped after 4 cups as we ran out of milk – I have a sneaky suspicion they tipped the milk down the sink to stop my nonsense 😳

I decided to take them swimming – they thought what a wonderful Mommy I was – taking them swimming, on my birthday – but I had a good book I wanted to finish πŸ˜„ So I sat by the side of the pool, drinking, yet more tea and reading happily. Β I randomly waved and chuckled at their antics – well actually, I didn’t have my glasses with me, so I had no idea which child I randomly waved to – but I’m sure I struck lucky a few times 😜

1st and 2nd born picked us up from McDonald’s afterwards. Β The girls have gone past the Happy Meal stage and now have adult portions – but I still have my Happy Meal 😜 – brilliant Nerf toys inside the Happy Meals at the moment 😜

We went home where the boys had bought me beautiful yellow roses and chocolates as well as a birthday cake 😍 which was lovely because my sister also bought me a birthday cake the day before and I had eaten it already πŸ˜ƒ


Jeff bought me a new little fish which I am busy bonding with 😍 I’ve named him Podrick and I’m over the moon with him!

I missed my Mom loads yesterday ❀️ She always made every birthday feel so special xx


Have a lovely day folks xx




Household tip 😜

Happy Hump Day folks πŸ˜„ I return to work tonight after my lovely week off – the sun has shone most days and it’s been lovely having Jeff’s Mom here 😊

Chaos reigns over the household during the school holidays and it won’t be much fun trying to grab some sleep after a nightshift – but hey ho – needs must and all that jazz 😳

I actually thought I would share a little household tip for all you busy Mom’s out there. Β Don’t waste precious time cleaning your oven – I’ve actually gained a new shelf at the bottom of mine – made up of bread crumbs and burnt offering – happy days! 😜

Mother of the Year Award – again πŸ˜³

This popped up on my Facebook memories today:

And the Mother of the Year Award goes to ………… Well, me – actually πŸ˜„

Lana asks me would I take her to the Park. Β I wiped the ice cream gently off her little chin, smiled sweetly and replied

“Of course I will – but don’t think I’m going to push you on the swings or anything like that!” πŸ˜„πŸ˜„