Category Archives: dressing up

A trip to A&E 😄

So following on from the Roller Skating malarkey the anticipated trip to A&E ensured. However, it wasn’t me who needed treatment – but my baby Giraffe 😳

After falling over on Sunday she couldn’t weight bare on her right knee.  After 2 trips to the Drs – 3 days off school, 3 disturbed nights, a missed course at work, emergency leave – and a partridge in a pear tree – we were advised to go to A&E today.

Let me tell you folks – if you need to go to A&E – take a child – any random child – beg, steal or borrow a child – reason being – after seeing there was a 4.5 hour wait – we waited all of 10 minutes!  Infact we were in and out within an hour – happy days 😄  The staff at the hospital were amazing, kind and professional – I cannot sing their praises enough!

Anyway the long and short of it was no broken knee-cap, just damaged tissue and bruised ligaments, which naturally I’m happy about – seeing as she’s done no bloody chores at all since Sunday 😄

21 year old 2nd born drove us to the hospital – a funny moment when he was mistaken for my husband and Arowyn’s Father – I was rather flattered – him less so 😜😜😜

Let’s hope the rest of the week goes smoothly – although it won’t because I’ve got to somehow make a bloody Roman costume for 4th born for tomorrow – I’m just going to roll her up in a white sheet!  Bloody school – paying me back, yet again, for missing World Book Day – bastards! 😳

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I am a bird – I am a plane ……..

Had a letter today reminding me I am due an eye check at the opticians.  It reminded me of a few years back when I was clearly in the same situation of needing my eyes checked.

I was walking over the school field to pick up 3rd and 4th born.  I could see 1st born in the distance – clearly waiting for me – I waved as he looked over and then I started running towards him with my arms open – embarrassing him is a very amusing past-time of mine 🙂  He didn’t respond so I decided to up the game and I pretended to be an aeroplane.  I began to zoom and swoop my way across the field – a true Boeing 747 in action.

I got closer and realised it wasn’t my Son – just a very frightened and worried looking school boy – yep I was definitely due an opticians appointment 🙂

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The Nativity 😀

And so it came to pass that after years and years of waiting, one of my offspring, finally, got a decent part to play in the school Christmas Nativity 😃

Of course there were signs from up above, that someone was favouring my child because when I was walking Peppa, strolling along, humming a few Christmas carols – well, Fairytale of New York by the Pogues actually, a mince pie fell from the sky! 😳 yep, there it landed, right at my feet, I looked up to the sky, just like those shepherds did many years ago, and saw a big crow in the tree right above me – he looked well pissed off – he was making out it was his mince pie that he had dropped 😁

Anyway the signs were looking good for the Nativity.  I must explain that 1st and 2nd born were never favoured in the play.

“Not a fucking shepherd again” I would mumble to myself whilst I searched for the traditional checked tea-towel to wrap around his head,  which was always too loose and ended up hanging over his face 😄 to be fair though they usually had to drag him off the stage by his ankles, as he dragged the manger and baby Jesus along with him.  Every year after that he was a down graded to a “Villager” which is a cop out for all the kids who cannot be trusted to behave on the stage or are not considered photogenic enough for the school’s newsletter 😅

2nd born was lucky enough to secure the part of one of the Three Kings – I was so proud ☺️ till he sauntered up to Mary and Joseph, turned down his Bob Marley headphones and said “No worries – Ja will provide” 😄

He was a “Villager” the following year 😳

So you can understand how bloody thrilled I was to hear 3rd born was to be a “Narrator” – “Yes, Yes” I yelled doing a celebratory dance around the lounge, giving everyone high fives 😄😄  My baby was going to be wearing a black gown with gold tinsel around the neck – not a fucking tea towel in sight!

She practised her lines over and over again – and some more – in fact she practised them so bloody much the whole family could have stepped in as understudies for her!

The day arrived – great excitement till I asked her what she wanted for breakfast – a little croak came out – she cleared her throat – another little croak – her little voice had gone – her nose was running – she was full of cold 😳

To her credit she still went – she croaked her way through her lines – It didn’t matter that no-one could hear all those words – I heard them – every single one – she was my little Star ❤️😊

Pain in the Arse Day – sorry – World Book Day!

Yeah yeah I know its all for a good cause and all that and bloody great fun for the kids to dress up instead of wearing boring school uniform, but, really?

“Dress up as your favourite Super Hero, Cartoon Character, Story Book Character bla bla bla!”  This is all well and good if you:

a)  have the creative touch and are one of those mothers who can whip up a costume with a piece of old sheet – I can’t!

b)  have some imagination and be really enthusiastic about the whole bloody thing – I’m not!

c)  have a cupboard – full to the brim with glitter, face-paints and all kinds of shit like that – I do – but its called the Kitchen!

c)  and lastly – BE TOLD MORE THAN HALF AN HOUR BEFORE BLOODY SCHOOL!!!!

I`ve just done an 8 hour nightshift – I walk in the door to Kiera the spoilt pampered Siamese (the love of Jeff`s life) wailing like a banshee for food – have you heard a Siamese cry? they are like new-born babies desperate to be breast-fed!  Peppa the Jack Russell permanently under my feet, in case, just in case, I walk out the door for a dog walk – minus the bloody dog!  Sandwiches to be made, ensure girls have everything they need in their bags, Jeffrey yelling for loo rolls and then, just then, they give it to me with two barrels “Mom, we`re dressing up today – I’m going as Mrs Doubtfire and Lana is going as Superman”

Arrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! and when exactly did you intend to tell me about this?

“There`s a letter in the bottom of my school bag” replies 3rd born ………………..

I reply sweetly “I only have half an hour to get you ready for school, I don`t have time to make a costume in half an hour”

When really I want to scream “For fucks sake!! I’m not a fucking mind reader, I don`t have fucking x-ray eyes to look through your school bag!!!”

Anyway the end result was 3rd born wearing her scout uniform – she`s Russell from UP 🙂 and fourth born wearing a pair of glasses – she`s Clark Kent!  They`re chuffed to bits 🙂 I’m a bloody genius – in fact I should be on Art Attack or Blue Peter 🙂 🙂