Category Archives: Christmas

It’s official!


Jeff and I do try to be the best “Perans” we can be! โค๏ธ

Merry Christmas Folks!


Getting ready for Christmas ๐Ÿ˜œ

Hi folks ๐Ÿ˜Š long time no speak/write. ย I’ve been reblogging some of my old posts, not out of laziness but more out of starting a new job, which is fab but on a personal level not finding much sunshine over the past few week.

There’s everyone “Ooooh I’m all ready for Christmas, everything bought, everything wrapped bla bla bla ……” and then there’s Me – “hmmmm should I be making a list or something” ๐Ÿ˜ณ

I decided I had to take control of the situation and me and Jeffrey decided to go Christmas shopping today – together – alone – quite frankly this is always a bad idea! ย He’s like an elderly parent – you turn your back and he’s wandered off somewhere, so I then have to spend the next half hour looking for him!

We got 2nd born to babysit the girls and gathered our stuff together. ย “Where are you going?” asked 4th born accusingly

“We’re going to the Zoo – to buy a cage to put you and your sister in” I replied – they have been little beasts lately ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Without batting an eyelid she replied “I want the biggest cage – not her!” ๐Ÿ˜„

I hope you are all doing better than I am with your Christmas plans – if you’ve managed to bag yourself a turkey and a Christmas pudding – I’ll be joining you on the 25th! ๐Ÿ˜„


Three legged donkey is back!๐Ÿ˜œ

Thank you folks for still giving me the odd few likes, follows and comments ๐Ÿ˜œ I know that following me recently is like following a three legged donkey!

However I’m still here, although I did have trouble logging on to WordPress – it just kept logging me out – I’m sure I heard some sniggers and a few mutterings of “You’re having a fucking laugh trying to get back on here – after dumping us for so long” ๐Ÿ˜œ

What can I say – my mojo has taken a bit of a beating lately for various reasons and I’ve had loads happening – some good and some not so good but my mojo is no longer a mofo and I’m back again!

I hope you’re all ok and I look forward to catching up on your blogs ๐Ÿ˜Š We’re off to the Christmas Party for the kids at Jeff’s works tomorrow – it involves a Pantomime and a visit to Santa – although I’m not sure they are convinced anymore of how genuine this Santa is – mainly because fourth born said he was picking his nose last year! ๐Ÿ˜ณ and no doubt she’ll tell him this year ………….

I’ll let you know how it goes ๐Ÿ˜œ

Farewell for another year ….

Yes folks, it`s that time of the year when the decorations come down and the house looks depressingly bare and non-sparkly and you can no longer ignore all the dust and crap you have happily been ignoring for the past 3 weeks.ย  And what the fuck is this thing that comes out of the cupboard this time of year and expects to be pushed around aimlessly, picking up random bits of tinsel, leftover peanuts and Christmas wrappers hidden under various items of furniture, depending upon where I have parked my oversized arse during the festive season?

Since being on this Christmasย holiday I have been completely indulged – so much that I have lost all my skills and sense of responsibility – I have turned into a spoiltย child ๐Ÿ™‚ย  When my children tell me they are hungry I smile and look blankly at them thinking “yes – me too!”

This isย also the time when you have to tackle all those “after Christmas” jobs, like sending back items you bought on a whim that either don’t fit, or don’t work.ย  I bought Jeff a lovely new pen for Christmas – but I`mย going to take it back – he’s got out 3 times since Christmas day ๐Ÿ™‚

On a happier note 1st and 2nd born return from China tomorrow ๐Ÿ™‚ I`ve missed them so much and cant waitย to see my duty free`s – Oh and them of course ๐Ÿ™‚

It will be lovely to spend some quality time with them before they return to work.ย  Last year we had some great days out – I forget sometimesย what great company they are ๐Ÿ˜„

Last Christmas we had a day out visiting relatives – just me and the boys. How they laughed as we drove all over the county – how I shrieked and nagged atย 1st born`sย driving and how lovely they put a blanket on my knees as I fell asleep in the back of the car – how they breathed a sigh of relief cos they had some peace ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ย I don’t know why I woke up in the boot of the car though – I’m guessing they thought I could have a proper sleep stretched out in there ………..ย  Anyway it will be lovely to see them ๐Ÿ™‚

I`ve also got a cold and feeling very sorry for myself – Jeffrey handed me a nice yellow duster – I think that’s what its called – I wiped my nose on it ….

Farewell Christmas and Happy January ๐Ÿ™‚




Eating my way to the end of the world ๐Ÿ˜œ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽŠ๐Ÿ”๐ŸŸ๐Ÿฐ

“When is the end of the world?” asked 4th born aged 7


“The end of the world – what day this week?”

“Do you mean the end of the year?”

“Yeah, that’s it!” ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

On that happy note i hope you all enjoyed your Christmas and now eagerly awaiting the End of the World – sorry – End of the Year celebrations before the return to work, school and normality. ย Working in the Care Industry my working life has continued as per normal – pity my eating habits haven’t followed suit ๐Ÿ˜ณ

I honestly don’t know what it is about holidays that make me think I can ย happily eat lemon cheesecake at 7.30am – my greedy little troll on my shoulder shrieks “it’s Christmas – of course you can eat the sodding cheesecake – and while you’re at it – shove some barbecue Pringles in for good measure” ๐Ÿ˜œ

This is all whilst trying to teach 3rd and 4th born good eating habits – whilst I’m pinching handfuls of jelly babies from their secret Christmas stash ๐Ÿ˜„

Last year’s Christmas eating habits should have taught me a lesson. ย I rang 1st born for a chat

“I’m eating pork pie and penis for breakfast” I chortled down the phone ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

“WTF Mother!!!”

It would appear that with a mouthful of PEANUTS – I couldn’t talk properly either! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

I’m sure I will get back to my normal eating habits very soon – hopefully before I run out clothes that fit ๐Ÿท๐Ÿท


A Turkey tale๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”

It could have all gone so horribly wrong – what with chief turkey roaster (1st born) buggering off to China – without any bloody thought about who was going to cook my turkey ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Previous years have gone something like this –ย must cook turkey – before opening lambrini – must cook turkey – before opening lambrini – must look perky – before opening something – must book something – before opening something – must finish bottle – before – nope too late ………… Zzzzzzzzz berry shishbush to you all ๐Ÿ˜ณ

However – I bloody surpassed myself ๐Ÿ˜„ Turkey was crammed with a large onion up his bum – or neck – depending upon which end of the turkey you were facing. ย He was then treated to a naked massage – him naked, not me – and had butter rubbed all over his wrinkled body and then powdered with seasonings and a few streaky rashers laying seductively across his naked form – ummmmm I think I’ve been reading too much Jackie Collins ……… ๐Ÿ˜œ

Anyway, into the oven he went on Christmas Eve – I decided to cook him the day before, in case there were any disasters – I could then use my contingency plan of “turning up on other family members doorsteps, just in time for Christmas dinner” ๐Ÿ˜œ but all was going to plan – well I did forget to remove the giblets – but everyone forgets those – standard. ย My oven had a funny half hour – or 4, and decided to smoke the house out – Jeffrey did suggest it may need a clean …………. I helped him up off the kitchen floor ……….

But even after all that – the end result was bloody marvellous ๐Ÿ˜ƒ I was rather taken back the next morning when it was suggested we have roast potatoes, parsnips, carrots, stuffing, piggies in the blanket bla bla bla ……. with my precious Turkey ๐Ÿ˜ณ I assumed the turkey alone would suffice ๐Ÿ˜œ

So we ended up having a lovely Christmas day with a lovely Christmas dinner – Jeffrey is one lucky man to have such a fine wife as I ๐Ÿ˜

Jeff is on holiday for the next two weeks ๐Ÿ˜ƒ He is intending to do loads of jobs around the house during these holidays ๐Ÿ˜ƒ ย He’s bloody marvellous at DIY – it just takes him sooooooo long to finish what he’s started – I waited almost a year for my floor tiles to be laid in the lounge and down the hallway. ย I cried, threatened to move out till he finished – but then had to backtrack as I thought my family may not remember who I was when I eventually came back! ย I told him nothing would be getting laid till my floor was! ย  I resorted to standing naked at the end of the hallway enticing him tile by tile ๐Ÿ˜„ But the end result was first class ๐Ÿ˜ƒ so I’m looking forward to maybe a new coat of paint in the bathroom – all ready for next Christmas ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and if anyone needs any Turkey tips for future reference – I’m the one to speak to ๐Ÿ˜ƒ