Category Archives: Christmas shopping

Getting ready for Christmas ๐Ÿ˜œ

Hi folks ๐Ÿ˜Š long time no speak/write. ย I’ve been reblogging some of my old posts, not out of laziness but more out of starting a new job, which is fab but on a personal level not finding much sunshine over the past few week.

There’s everyone “Ooooh I’m all ready for Christmas, everything bought, everything wrapped bla bla bla ……” and then there’s Me – “hmmmm should I be making a list or something” ๐Ÿ˜ณ

I decided I had to take control of the situation and me and Jeffrey decided to go Christmas shopping today – together – alone – quite frankly this is always a bad idea! ย He’s like an elderly parent – you turn your back and he’s wandered off somewhere, so I then have to spend the next half hour looking for him!

We got 2nd born to babysit the girls and gathered our stuff together. ย “Where are you going?” asked 4th born accusingly

“We’re going to the Zoo – to buy a cage to put you and your sister in” I replied – they have been little beasts lately ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Without batting an eyelid she replied “I want the biggest cage – not her!” ๐Ÿ˜„

I hope you are all doing better than I am with your Christmas plans – if you’ve managed to bag yourself a turkey and a Christmas pudding – I’ll be joining you on the 25th! ๐Ÿ˜„

 

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Ding dong merrily on high – and all that Crimbo business โ›„๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿ˜

I’m typing this on my phone and can only see half the bloody screen so apologies – I have no idea what I’m writing ๐Ÿ˜จ

Thought I would drop in and see how everyone’s Christmas plans are going – nice and all organised? ย Shit, I was hoping to find fellow headless chickens like myself ๐Ÿ˜จ

I still have food shopping to do – which possibly means just the scraggly manky brussel sprouts and squirty cream left – not to have together you understand – but I must be the only person ever to love brussels โค

1st and 2nd born fly to China tomorrow to spend Christmas with their Dad so I’m a bit sad they won’t be home for Christmas and course first Christmas without my Mom – but – she loved this time of year so I’ll do her proud with the microwave Christmas dinners I’m dishing up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ Ha! only kidding, Jeff will become spoilt with that kind of treatment – he will eat his turkey, cooked with my fair hand and LIKE IT VERY MUCH !!!!

4th born is very much on her best behaviour after last week’s Harry Potter incident – in fact peace is reigning in the household – course it will probably only last whilst there are mince pies in the house and me and Jeff have eaten 24 mini ones in 2 nights ๐Ÿ˜

I can feel my thighs and arse expanding by the hour – didn’t help when I put on a pair of knickers – that wouldn’t go over my thighs – what a relief to discover they were 3rd borns, aged 9-10 – phew, back to the mince pies …….. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

 

 

 

The turkey has landed …. and so have the “Trolls”

Oh yes the Christmas Turkey has landed ๐Ÿ˜ƒ Christmas is now officially happening – or at least the turkey is – unlike last year when I left it too late and turkeys had all sold out ๐Ÿ˜ณ ย However, I’m not so sure about the “bearded one” landing and bearing his gifts for the “Trolls” – sorry offspring ๐Ÿ˜œ I think when he gets a report about them he may run screaming back to his sleigh, shoving a carrot in the reindeers gobs to get them to go faster!

Now I love this time of year for many reasons, but one reason that sits quite high on my list is the fact that you are almost certainly guaranteed lovely well-behaved, polite children for at least a couple of weeks in the build up. ย When they’re about to kick off, all it takes is a sly little glance in the garden, their faces follow your gaze, you can almost feel their panic – “oooh was that the Christmasย Robin I just saw sat on the fence?” I question innocently “better get ready for school and be good, he will be reporting back to Santa ๐Ÿ˜€ ย Off they race, almost breaking their necks to get ready first and show that robin how good they are ๐Ÿ˜€

“Oh dear” I sigh – “better hope Santa isn’t watching you having a major melt-down cos you’ve been asked to wash up”………..

“Where’s the washing up liquid Mommy” ๐Ÿ˜€

Bloody fantastic it is – or was – until this year ๐Ÿ˜ณ ย Even the App on my phone that shows Santa ringing me isn’t working – 3rd born looks at me with pity in her eyes and laughs – I’ve even tried it on 1st and 2nd born, but at 23 and 21 years of age – they’re not falling for it either ๐Ÿ˜ƒ 4th born – my baby, believes every word but quite frankly she’s not giving a shit this year ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Today 4th born ate a whole tub of Prawn Cocktail Pringles before dinner – furious I was – since they were mine! ย She then announced she wasn’t hungry when given her dinner. ย 3rd born had a melt-down because I wouldn’t allow her to shave her legs – she’s 10 years old ๐Ÿ˜ฑ ย poor hairy little child – I’m sorry but you have inherited the hairy gene from me – I feel your pain – but you are only 10!! ย That nice little hairy covering on your legs will save me buying you tights for the rest of December ๐Ÿ˜„

I decided to escape to Aldi for food shopping and leave the girls with Jeff – who was busy watching ย back to back episodes of “Super Girl” ๐Ÿ˜ “hello!” I’m the bloody Super Girl round here coping with your offspring – I’m just not running around showing my pants and making my boobs bounce – ummmm that’s a thought! ย Actually no it’s not – I keep forgetting I have no boobs after breastfeeding aforementioned offspring for years and years ๐Ÿ˜œ ย So today I had no intention of taking girls with me after last weeks shopping trip.

Last week I decided to give them a little responsibility round the shop. ย I gave them both a shopping basket and told them to get their own cereals, jam, croissants etc and meet me at the till. ย “For goodness sake don’t leave the shop, you will get arrested for shop-lifting – and I’m not bailing you out!” I shrieked as they happily trotted off swinging their baskets ๐Ÿ˜ƒ what on earth was I thinking ………..๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

I had a lovely relaxing shopping experience – well as relaxing as it can be in fucking Aldi ๐Ÿ˜œ I met them at the till and praised them for being so responsible and sensible – till I checked contents of their basketsย …….. 3rd born had a gingerbread house, 5 boxes of luxury Christmas cards for her friends, 3 boxes of Christmas candles and a box of chocolate biscuits – 4th born had filled her basket with a pair of jeans, new pair of trainers, 6 high energy drinks and was desperately hanging onto a “blow up Spiderman mattress” – that incidentally reared its ugly head a few weeks ago on a previous shopping trip ๐Ÿ˜ they both had tinsel draped around their necks ๐Ÿ˜„

So – No – they weren’t coming with me today!

I gathered my bags and shopping list “Please can we come too” they smiled sweetly at me – “no fucking way” I muttered under my breath but smiled sweetly back and said “I’m sorry you can’t come – I have a crisis meeting with the Elves about your behaviour” ………………. ๐Ÿ˜ณ