Category Archives: birth

How to clear the men from the house πŸ˜„

This Friday will be my beautiful Arowyn’s 11th birthday ❀️


Not only is this her birthday but it is also the night of her “House full of 11 year old girls sleepover” Remember this was what I agreed to whilst half asleep a few weeks ago! πŸ˜•

We have sleeping bags, face packs, make up, nail varnish, Dominos pizza, popcorn, movies and a chocolate fountain πŸ˜ƒ

We also have a mass exodus of the men in the household! πŸ˜„ Poor Jeff has begged to be allowed out with the boys. Β I think Jeff was hoping to be let off the hook and have a quiet game of pool and a pint but the boys have promised him a night on the Town at the local nightclub πŸ˜„

I intend to enjoy the solitude of my bedroom and my book – but I will supervise the chocolate fountain and make sure it’s working adequately 😜😜

Have a lovely weekend folks!


A bit of a squash πŸ˜ƒ

Keeping with the theme of babies in tummys – a few years ago I Β was talking to Lana about how lucky I was to have been blessed with two baby boys and then two baby girls.

“We must have been very squashed in there together!” she says πŸ˜„

I then explained they weren’t all in there at the same time – first was Christian and Cam and then when I met JeffΒ I had Arowyn and lastly Lana.

“Oh” she said looking disappointed “I wanted to be after Tinny (Chris)” πŸ˜ƒ

Im sure the boys’ Father would have had something to say about that! πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

One born every minute!

I love this programme. Β It always makes me reminisce about my own babies births. I usually watch the programme with my legs crossed and screech along with the mothers giving birth, having major flashbacks to first borns birth and thinking it was possibly the one time in my life I thought I was going to die – and welcomed it 😜

I remember how I proudly told the consultant, before I went into labour, that I wanted a natural birth, no drugs, no intervention and I then remember when he came to see me in the delivery suite, I BEGGED him to hit me over the head with a shovel or wrap his stethoscope around my neck – tightly! 😳

After being nicely positioned for the past 4 weeks, first born had decided to twist around in a ridiculous position which made him bloody impossible to push out! Β I won’t bore you with the gory details but needless to say, after 27 hours, gas and air, pethidine, sick bowl and epidural I was taken in for an emergency cesarean – made me laugh quite hysterically when I was asked to sign the “just in case” consent form – drugged up to the eye balls I would have sold the child for a donkey and a bag of nice pegs 😳

In the theatre they decided to “try” and turn him around before attempting a cesarean – of course they had to cut me first to get the shovels around his head and drag him out ……..

And there he was – my beautiful “large” baby – with a cone shaped head, due to aforementioned forceps πŸ˜„

The plopped him on me, shoved my boob in his little rose bud mouth – before I could even ask for a cup of tea!

What a beauty he was – funny shaped head and all 😍😍

Funnily enough the other 3 births after him were like shelling peas – fast, natural and just as beautiful – not surprising – I probably had a fanny like a bucket after first born …….. 😜


Happy birthday Chris β€οΈ

24 years ago, there you arrived

Placed in my arms, happy tears I cried

I looked at you, amazed and in awe

Of this tiny creation, I had bore


So beautiful, so perfect

Ten fingers, ten toes

Silky black hair

A small button nose


Now you’re all grown up

I see the man you’ve become

I’m so proud and happy

Of my first-born Son ❀️


Happy Birthday Tin, love always xx

The enormous turnip πŸ˜„

All my children, at various stages of their childhood, have loved to hear all the details about their births – obviously not the older ones now – the whole idea of mother ever having sex is just gross and a taboo subject.

When they were younger they all wanted details, competing with each other as to who was the fastest and easiest, who managed to create the most stitches, who was the biggest/smallest/cutest – who had the cone head for the longest, who fed for the longest, who gave mommy the biggest piles – bloody hell, I could carry on for hours – but I’m sure you get my drift 😳

Incidentally my hardest labour was, unsurprisingly, 1st born – 27 hours in labour, every drug and pain relief used – I begged to be hit over the head with a bedpan – killed, anything – just stop this bloody pain!

I was telling him about how he was eventually delivered in the theatre with shovels – that they pretended were forceps – round his head. Β He eagerly listened as I told him how his Daddy was there, and the Surgeon, some midwives and a few medical students all urging me to PUUUUSSSHHHH ………….

He looked at me with awe and then said

“I was just like the Enormous Turnip wasn’t I”πŸ˜„πŸ˜„