Monthly Archives: September 2016

Bridget Jones’s Baby πŸ‘ΆπŸ˜„

What joy I had going to see this film tonight! πŸ˜„

I wanted to see it sooooo much – and Jeff didn’t want to see it sooooo much – I decided whilst he was away working it would be an ideal time! Β Plus I rather value my marriage and Jeff had said making him watch this was testing his love for me too much! πŸ˜„

Anyway off I trotted to the Cinema – Bridget Jones is probably the only film you can confidently sashay into the cinema and proudly ask for a single ticket! Β I picked my seat – on the back row folks – Go Me! πŸ˜ƒ I was all alone until another female singleton sat one seat away from me. Β I turned to her and said “Folk will think we’re a couple who’ve had a row” πŸ˜„ Β She joined in the fun and moved 3 rows in front – just to keep up the charade …….. 😜

So there I was – sat snugly between two couples – I was enjoying my popcorn and happily grabbing handfuls – and then I remembered – I hadn’t bought any – but I don’t think they minded sharing ………. 😜

Now the film!  Oh what a little nugget of pleasure it was!  I howled with laughter and then wept like a baby!  It was bloody marvellous and I loved this film! ❀️

I did miss my Jeff though – especially when I left the cinema and couldn’t remember what parking bay I had left the car in 😜😜

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Getting old! 😳

I just came back from food shopping. Β There was a time when, if two young men stood close to me at the checkout I used to think they were flirting with me – now I assume they are going to mug me and steal my purse!

I’ve turned into a suspicious old woman, clutching my handbag and scowling at anyone who looks young enough to be my offspring! 😳

On the brighter side I’m on a mini hollibob again – 5 glorious days off whilst Jeff is working in France – 5 glorious days of clearing out cupboards, washing, ironing, cleaning and doing all those shitty jobs I don’t have time to do normally 😳 Β I’m also going to overdose on Orange is the New Black!

Have a good week folks! πŸ˜ƒ

New beginnings, new loves! πŸ˜œ

Hope you’re all well. Β It’s been a tad manic the past fortnight with third born starting secondary school and fourth born having a mini meltdown now her big sister is no longer in the same school 😁 but we are getting there!

Third born is absolutely loving her new school and has settled brilliantly, although I think a certain young lad in her form has made the world a sunnier place in her eyes 😍

She had only been there 2 days when he asked her out – by the 4th day his words of devotion went along the lines of – how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, how she had completed his life – did I mention they are both 11 years old πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ Β He even called her his Queen! πŸ’“

Jeff doesn’t call ME his bloody Queen – after 13 years, let alone 3 days – although to be fair I’m allowed to handle the Crown Jewels on a Friday night after a Chinese takeaway 😜😜

Meanwhile fourth born was practicing her spellings for this week. Β For each word she had to make a sentence. Β One of her words was “Happily” her sentence went as follows:

I happily helped my friend do IT’S homework 😳

I hope IT was very appreciative! 😜😜

Have a good day folks, I’m off for a lie down!

Mary, Mary – quite contrary ……….

Men often complain that they can never understand us women. Β I’m beginning to think they have a point! πŸ˜ƒ

How I behave each and every day is governed by whether I’m in a good mood and loving the world or whether I’m in a shit mood and cross with everything! Β However, like the weather, my mood and attitude can change by the hour! πŸ˜„

Take the other weekend as I’m leaving the house to go to work

“You don’t have to do anything today Jeff, leave the washing up and tidying up, just have a nice day with the girls” I beamed πŸ˜„

Me, as I return from work

“Did you actually do anything in the way of housework today Jeffrey?” 😑

I horrify myself sometimes – infact I would probably divorce myself under these circumstances 😳

Still never mind – it keeps him on his toes! πŸ˜„

Swept away in the moment πŸ˜œ

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That’s why you’ll always find me in the kitchen at parties!😳

Someone left the outside door open at work last night and the laundry room was full of Daddy Long Legs! 😳

As I was sweeping the floor I realised they were all in pairs – shagging! Β I had accidently gate-crashed a Daddy Long Legs “Over 30’s Orgy” 😳 For the record – I’m fairly sure it was an “Over 30’s Orgy” as they were showing extreme experience and expertise in their positioning! πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

You have to hand it to them though – they never batted an eye-lid and carried on regardless – as I swept them into the dustpan! πŸ˜ƒ

Trust ❀️

“I have a new locker at school” declares fourth born πŸ˜ƒ

“That’s nice” I reply “Does it lock?”

“No, it doesn’t” she informs me 😳

“Oh that’s not very good then. Β What’s to stop someone from taking your things from your locker?”

“Why would someone do that?” she asks me looking shocked at the thought 😨

“It’s my locker so no one would take my things, they belong to me!” ❀️

I hope her innocence, trust and honesty never wavers and it will break my heart the day she realises that not everyone has the same morals as her kind little heart xx

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Somebody else’s child πŸ˜œ

You know how Mothers are supposed to recognise the cry or call of their offspring Β – even if they are blindfolded? Β Well,for some reason this skill never functioned for me πŸ˜„

Unless my child was screetching in my face or pulling at my boobs I never recognised their cries. Β Quite happily I would sit in the dreaded “Mom and Tot” groups thinking “Wish someone would pick that screaming child up” only to realised it was my screaming child! 😜

Well it would appear this skill is still redundant in me! πŸ˜„

It was teatime and I was stood with my back to the kitchen door cooking tea – yes I know, I know – unbelievable I know but I do visit the kitchen to cook every now and again 😜

I heard a little voice behind me which said “I’m just going …….”

Without missing a beat or turning around I interrupted with “You’re NOT going anywhere! Β Dinner is nearly ready, you have homework to do, now go back upstairs and finish it!” 😳

A little voice nervously said “But I have to go home now Lisa, my Mom is expecting me!” 😳

It wasn’t my child – it was somebody else’s child. Β Somebody else’s very frightened child – who clearly thought I was holding her hostage! πŸ˜„