For 40 years you have been my step-dad. You were never a major influence in my life but then, to be fair, I had my wonderful Mom to give me all the positive influence I could ever need, but you were always there, in the background.
You have always been a difficult man, but you were “our difficult man” and I have always understood and accepted why you were the way you were.
When we all lost Mom my sister broke all contact with you – saying she had only ever tolerated you because of Mom. I couldn’t do that – I didn’t want to do that 😞 You were upset and confused at her actions, you didn’t understand.
You’ve been a lovely Grampy to the girls and a friend to the boys, again, they have accepted you for the way you are and have always shown you love and kindness. You were there the night Lana was born and, along with Mom, you were the first family to hold her and meet your little granddaughter ❤️
Since Mom died, nearly 18 months ago, you and I have spent hours on the phone, both crying for our loss, supporting each other and reminiscing. I’ve rang you every week to make sure you are ok, making sure you are eating regularly and inviting you over for for dinner and all those special occasions like birthdays, Christmas and Easter. I know you have no other family and I knew Mom would have wanted us to maintain the relationship we have.
You stopped ringing me regularly a few months ago. You stopped returning my calls. You began to decline my invitations to come over and spend some time with us, saying you had made other plans. I’m happy you are building a life without Mom, but does that mean we don’t fit into that life anymore? When I spoke to you I told you that I worry about you when I don’t hear from you. I’ve told you that I will drive over to make sure you’re not poorly. I’ve also told you that you have my blessing to move on if you meet another companion, you’re still young enough to love again. I tell you your granddaughters miss “Grampy” and don’t understand why they don’t see you. You forgot to ring and wish me or Cam a happy birthday.
I rang you today and you told me you were rushed to hospital last week, you’ve had cancer twice and you were experiencing terrible stomach pains. They kept you in and then released you saying you were ok. Why didn’t you ring me? You rang a neighbour to bring you home – instead of your family 😔 You were quite blasé about the whole thing replying “you couldn’t have done anything” but I could have cared and made sure you were ok.
I feel we’ve lost you, along with Mom, and that makes me so sad.
Some people become hermit crabs when they are sick, I am one of them. I remember the day when they threw the big “C” in my face. I didn’t want to see anybody, wanted to be left alone. It was my fight…not theirs.
I didn’t want to interrupt people’s busy life with my problems. But most of all I didn’t like them to see me like that.
People do things for a reason…dont’ judge to quickly and more importantly don’t give up to quickly. This is not about you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I won’t ever give up x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope you are able to talk with him again soon and he is able to talk with you. Before it is too late. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh we’re still talking I just want him in our lives still but I sometimes think he’s moving on without us x
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s all so very complex. I hope you don’t give up on him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I won’t x
LikeLiked by 1 person
My clan’s been through similar scenarios so often I feel deeply for you, Lisa. I imagine you know to never give up. I’m praying for you, and the family, my friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Roo 😘 xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugs, Lisa. You can’t choose your family, sometimes letting go is the thing to do, sometimes it’s not. Hopefully it will all sort itself out in the end.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Helen – I just worry about him xx
LikeLike
Sad stuff. I hope it gets better.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too, thanks xx
LikeLike
Don’t give up. Go to him bully his strong silent butt! They think they are saving us grief. They don’t know we’re the strong ones. Tell him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😘😘 xxx
LikeLike
Shame there isn’t an ‘unlike’ button 😔
Hope you reach some kind of understanding. X
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks and yes, so do I xx
LikeLike
Just hang in there and d what feels right to you. He may not understand, but you will feel best in the end if you just keep on doing what feels right to you. Lots of hugs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😘😘 xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is so kind of you that you care for him so much. xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the grumpy old man! 😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s so sad. Perhaps his grief has caught up with him and he is feeling depressed and unworthy of your care.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I so hope not Kiri – I’ll keep letting him know how important he still is to us all xx hope all good with you xx
LikeLiked by 1 person