Monthly Archives: July 2016

Car Wash :)

We drove over the visit Jeff’s brother last Sunday.  We passed a car wash with a sign outside – it said “Best hand job for miles” 🙂

Jeff nearly crashed the car when he did an emergency stop!! 🙂

What made it even funnier was when Jeff told his brother – and his brother innocently said “They’re pretty good, I use them all the time” 🙂


For God’s Sake Eat a Salad :)

I have not a clue where my expanding waistline has come from – no really, I have no idea!  I’m thinking its muscle rather than fat, because I am strong and can carry 4 large bottles of lambrini and two tubs of vanilla ice cream all by myself 🙂

I’m actually happy with my weight gain.  I’m loving my new Beyoncé Arse and rather impressive boobs – course now the weather has improved and the shorts have reared their ugly head again, I’ve noticed my legs are looking somewhat chunky – it doesn’t help that they are always covered up – so they look like two large milk bottles hanging from my arse – but hey ho! 🙂

I’ve come to the conclusion that this is natures plan for me now – this is obviously the shape I’m meant to be at this stage of my life 🙂

I was explaining this strange weight gain with a friend the other week.  She offered me a caramel digestive biscuit and I happily accepted before I could even take a bite of it – the button flew off my jeans 🙂 🙂 I still can’t understand why I’m gaining weight ……………. 🙂

Pokémon Go :)

I think its bloody fantastic that Pokémon has returned 🙂  It brings back such great memories from when it first came out in the 1990`s.  First and Second born were mad about Pokémon and collected all the cards – it went something like this:

got, got, got, want, want, got, want, need, got, got, got, want, want, got, need …….. 🙂

Now we have Pokémon Go 🙂  I think its brilliant that, finally, kids have a computer generated game that is actually getting them out of the house – instead of sitting in front of a computer screen.  For years we’ve had kids, and adults, being knocked for obesity, lack of fresh air and exercise, lack of social skills, too much television, bla, bla, bla ……. and then this comes along, which surely a better alternative?  Of course you have to play it safe and give the general guidelines to the kids to still be careful and safety conscious but at least they are out, even with their parents in tow, having fun and creating memories 🙂  Plus the family dog gets loads of extra walks 🙂

Lana is collecting cards and wants to go catch em all – but she is too young to go alone and seeing as I can’t catch a football thrown at me – my chances of catching a Charizard is pretty remote – I may manage a Jigglypuff, as he’s the little pink chubby one and I can possibly run faster than him 🙂

Happy hunting folks 🙂 I’m hoping to find one and train it to do my ironing ……..

Apologies 😳

Incidentally, apologies for being such a shit blogger recently.  It’s coming up to the end of the school year – I’ve had Sports Day, where 4th born smashed the long distance running 😜 – 3rd born had Induction Day to Secondary School, traumatic for me as a Mother and full of worries for her – as to how to style the hair and look as cool as possible 😃 – Jeff working away in France which, conveniently coincided with the European Football Tournament 😳 Jeff’s Mom visiting from South Africa – so it’s been all go 😃

Hope you’re all well and enjoying the Summer 😊 and the shit weather if you’re in the UK 😃

H.R.H. 👑👑

As I search for my glasses because I can no longer see a bloody thing without them, I think of my dear old Mom and her ever declining eyesight.

Shopping  with her a few years ago, it must have been Prince William’s birthday or some special occasion because she had postage stamps in her purse with his picture on.  She opened her purse to pay for her shopping and proceeded to show the Shop Assistant a picture of “her Grandson” 😄😄

How to impress 😜

I like to surprise Jeff every now and again 😄 like yesterday, whilst chatting in the garden I reached up my trouser leg and whipped out a pair of knickers that had got left in there from the day before 😜😜😜

I believe what impressed him was the thought they were the ones I were currently wearing – I knew he was impressed when he looked astounded and said “What the fuck!!!” 😃😃😃