Monthly Archives: May 2016

My one handed post πŸ˜œ

Hey folks hope everyone is well 😘

Firstly I would like you all to know it has taken me a week to type this one handed after my operation. Β I’ve toiled and strove to write something, in great discomfort and high as a kite on pain killers πŸ˜„ but here I am!

Anyway I’m sure you are all pleased to know my operation went well – it was only carpal tunnel surgery, so nothing too exciting or serious – but I am a bit of a drama queen 😜

They were lovely at the hospital. Β I was taken down to surgery by my new best friend “Patrick the Porter” he was rather dishy and we got on a treat. Β He admired my Batman slippers and my yellow SpongeBob socks 😊 I flirted outrageously, well as outrageous as you can be in a pair of yellow SpongeBob socks …. Of course it all went to pot as I climbed onto the operating table and realised I hadn’t shaved my legs!

Anyway I’m now incapable of doing much – with stitches and a large bandage on my right hand. Β I had first born brushing my hair and 3rd born shaving my left armpit on my return home – I tried shouting for “Wipers” but no one came ………

Jeff has been a bloody star ❀️ he’s done the shopping and made me endless cups of tea – plus he washed my hair – which is marvellous – seeing as he hasn’t got any of his own …….. πŸ˜„

I’m also having that bastard wisdom tooth removed next Monday – infortunately will be unable to fight the dentist with dodgy hand πŸ˜•

In the meantime I intend to do loads of reading – seeing as I can’t do much else! Β Happy Tuesday folks – have a good one! πŸ˜€


Tuna Pasta – or just Tuna πŸ˜œ

My operation on my wrist is scheduled for this Thursday – this deserves a whole post of its own so I’ll come back to that 😜😜

I’m very worried …………. 😳😳

No, no, no – not worried about my operation. Β I’m worried how the household will cope without me!

A bit arrogant, I hear you mutter? Β I don’t think so Ha! πŸ˜„ I shot out the door yesterday telling Jeff to dish up Lana some Tuna Pasta for lunch. Β Came home to see her eating a tin of Tuna with a fork – Jeff only caught the word “Tuna” – so that’s all she got! πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

Yes I’m worried – he will be in charge – whilst I lounge on the sofa watching Jeremy Kyle! 😜



Arowyn is off to France tomorrow with the school. Β She is so excited and looking forward to it! πŸ˜„

Her little suitcase is packed, well, in a fashion, when I checked she had forgotten to pack her pjamas but had packed 10 pairs of knickers – for 3 days! πŸ˜„

For me, the highlight of the trip will be their visit to Etaples Military Cemetery. Β This Commonwealth War Graves Commission Cemetery holds over 11,500 dead soldiers from World War 1 and World War 11.

I made her late for school last week by giving her a history lesson about this particular excursion. Β I told her the story of her Great-grandfather, my Grampy, and how he fought and survived in the Second World War. Β I told her how he was at Dunkirk in France when the British and Allied Forces were stranded on the beaches and Harbor, cut off and surrounded. Β They had to swim for their lives. Β My Grampy swam with his best friend on his back, only to have his friend blown up, he carried on swimming with what was left of his friends body, still on his back.

My Grampy survived x

I think she may be too young still to truly appreciate the significance of this excursion but I hope her little kind heart takes a moment to Remember those who gave their lives.

This will be the furthest away she has ever been from home but I am also so excited for her ❀️

Keep safe my baby girl and please don’t bring home any Snail Pate from the snail farm – I really don’t want any 😜

Banana Bread 🍌🍌🍌

Meanwhile back to the here and now ………..

A trip to the shop last night – to buy more butter, more castor sugar – an hour messing about in the kitchen – on a school night – making a bloody mess – an hour in the oven – making banana bread – that I don’t even like 😳

All because I had 3 bananas I didn’t want to chuck in the bin! 😜

Where shall I scatter them πŸ˜³

The annual update of my Last Will and Testament 😳

Where to scatter my ashes? Β Three possible locations – a scattering in each one? Β I’m not sure – my head and a leg in one place, an arm and some toes in another? Β Perhaps I should stick to one venue?

Perhaps I should stay in my Urn – on top of the Playstation – and be jiggled around every night by Jeffrey! 😜

Missed opportunities 😳

When my eldest son was away at University he was approached by a woman in a bar. Β She asked him if he had any acting abilities as she was casting for a Play and had a part she thought he would be perfect for. Β He turned around and told her he couldn’t act! 😳

When he told me I couldn’t believe he didn’t at least audition – he could have been the next Tom Hardy or Daniel Craig – or even Mr Bean!!

I asked him what was the part she thought he was perfect for – apparently he looked perfect for the part of an Asylum Seeker! πŸ˜„πŸ˜„


My lips are sealed …….

Having a chuckle with the girls tonight about funny things they’ve said and done.

I reminded Lana about the time when she was younger when she asked why boys had “stalks” on the end of their boobies when they didn’t need to feed babies πŸ˜‚

Whilst we rolled around the sofa laughing she said “Don’t tell anyone I said that will you”

Noooooooooo – of course I won’t Lana πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I hope I’ve passed through those pearly gates before she reads my memoirs! πŸ˜‚

Psychic bonds πŸ˜„

I’m currently on “Night 6” of 6 nightshifts in a row – and boy am I feeling it! Β I don’t normally do this many together but took the overtime to refill the penny pot that got drastically emptied by Peppa’s operation and phantom birth of tennis balls last month!

Nightshifts do suit me – but it is essential I get sufficient sleep during the day otherwise I tend to have the brain of a Rocking Horse!

Since I was a child I’ve always been a tad strange on the sleeping front. Β I was a terrible sleepwalker and sleeptalker – infact my Mom used to say I spoke in a different language whilst sleep talking – which seems rather ironic – seeing as it took me 2 years to learn 3 sentences on my Italian course! 😜

When I’m seriously sleep deprived now I don’t talk a different language – I talk complete and utter shite! 😜 Β In fact if I type anything whilst on a nightshift I tend to re-read what a written the following day with some trepidation 😳

Yesterday whilst asleep, I stirred after only a couple of hours sleep and thought I heard first born in the house. Β I called his name a few times but he didn’t respond. Β I wasn’t surprised – the whole household know that if I call anyone from my bed – it’s to demand a cup of tea! Β I assumed he was pretending not to hear me! 😳

Not to be outdone – I ring his mobile and he picks up.

“Hey, it’s meeeee” I tell him “what are you up to, pretending you can’t hear me calling you! Β Can I have a cup of tea?” πŸ˜€

“I’m not there Mom, I’m at my place”

“No you’re not” I inform him “I heard you calling me!”

“Mother, I’m at my place, doing my ironing. Β I didn’t call you – you’re still asleep and talking shite!” πŸ˜„ Β (he knows me very well!)

“Ah it’s our psychic bond” I tell him “subconsciously you need me don’t you?” 😳

“No Mom” he says with a sigh “I don’t subconsciously need you – go back to bloody sleep!”

“It’s your brother then, he’s psychically calling me – he must need me, gotta go – bye” ……….

I then promptly fell back to sleep without any recollection of having a conversation with him! 😜

Mistaken identity πŸ˜„

Lana screaming the house down because a ladybird came in with the washing from the washing line outside πŸ˜„

Trying to pacify and calm her down I said

“Lana, look – it’s Gaston the ladybird from Ben and Holly’s Magic Kingdom” – incidentally she hasn’t watched this particular children’s programme since she was 5 years old πŸ˜„

“No it’s not!” she cried “Gaston has 10 spots – this one only has 7” πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

For all her tomboy ways and bravado – she’s still my baby girl ❀️