Monthly Archives: April 2016

A bit of a squash πŸ˜ƒ

Keeping with the theme of babies in tummys – a few years ago I Β was talking to Lana about how lucky I was to have been blessed with two baby boys and then two baby girls.

“We must have been very squashed in there together!” she says πŸ˜„

I then explained they weren’t all in there at the same time – first was Christian and Cam and then when I met JeffΒ I had Arowyn and lastly Lana.

“Oh” she said looking disappointed “I wanted to be after Tinny (Chris)” πŸ˜ƒ

Im sure the boys’ Father would have had something to say about that! πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

One born every minute!

I love this programme. Β It always makes me reminisce about my own babies births. I usually watch the programme with my legs crossed and screech along with the mothers giving birth, having major flashbacks to first borns birth and thinking it was possibly the one time in my life I thought I was going to die – and welcomed it 😜

I remember how I proudly told the consultant, before I went into labour, that I wanted a natural birth, no drugs, no intervention and I then remember when he came to see me in the delivery suite, I BEGGED him to hit me over the head with a shovel or wrap his stethoscope around my neck – tightly! 😳

After being nicely positioned for the past 4 weeks, first born had decided to twist around in a ridiculous position which made him bloody impossible to push out! Β I won’t bore you with the gory details but needless to say, after 27 hours, gas and air, pethidine, sick bowl and epidural I was taken in for an emergency cesarean – made me laugh quite hysterically when I was asked to sign the “just in case” consent form – drugged up to the eye balls I would have sold the child for a donkey and a bag of nice pegs 😳

In the theatre they decided to “try” and turn him around before attempting a cesarean – of course they had to cut me first to get the shovels around his head and drag him out ……..

And there he was – my beautiful “large” baby – with a cone shaped head, due to aforementioned forceps πŸ˜„

The plopped him on me, shoved my boob in his little rose bud mouth – before I could even ask for a cup of tea!

What a beauty he was – funny shaped head and all 😍😍

Funnily enough the other 3 births after him were like shelling peas – fast, natural and just as beautiful – not surprising – I probably had a fanny like a bucket after first born …….. 😜

 

No sex please – we have kids πŸ˜œ

Parents often say that your sex life disminishes when you have small children – due to exhaustion, lack of opportunity and never having a bed to yourselves. Β This is true but where there’s a will – there’s always a way 😜

When they were small it was always very easy to “explain” any embarrassing moments that you may find yourself in. Β Like why you were attempting to give Dad a piggy back or how you’re checking out a spot on Dad’s bottom! 😜

As they get older they look at you knowingly if they catch you in a state of undress, in the middle of the afternoon, whilst they’re playing in the garden πŸ˜„

Course when you have grown up children still living at home – it’s a bloody nightmare that no amount of covering up works – they just “know” and they really don’t want to “know” 😳

I remember being in the bedroom when the adult children came home unexpectedly. Β I hissed at Jeff to hit the play button on the stereo to drown out any noise and the following began to blare out at full volume

“If you’re happy and you know it – clap your hands ……..”

“If you’re happy and you know it, and you really want to show it”

“If you’re happy and you know it – clap your hands” 😳

Jeff tried to keep up in time with the music but – No – just No! 😳

Happy birthday Queen πŸ‘ΈπŸ‘Έ

Happy birthday to our Queen – even though you caused me a lot of hassle cos the school kids are having a party and I had to do an extra trip to Aldi to buy extra bread, sandwiches fillings and cucumbers and carrots for dips πŸ˜„

I’m also very happy you’re not my Granny – what the heck would I buy you for your birthday – would you have been happy with some woolly bed socks and a bag of marshmallows? 😳

I’m actually rather fond of you and I think you have done a wonderful job for our country! Plus you must be nice cos you love your corgis 😍

Happy birthday! πŸŒΉπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽˆ

Stolen 😳

A beautiful sunny day – I’ve done all my washing and go to peg it out. Β Can you believe it – some thieving bastard has stolen the hole that I stick my washing line in! 😳

I even mowed the grass to see if I could find it – which incidentally, isn’t on my list of jobs – it’s on Jeffrey’s 😳 I’ve crawled over the grass feeling for it with no luck – it’s definitely gone 😜

A little kindness – can get you into trouble πŸ˜„

Jeff and I were driving home from Town and saw in the distance a little old lady, bend almost double, with about 5 shopping bags.

“Oh look Jeff, that poor little old lady can hardly stand up and look at all those bags she’s trying to carry” πŸ˜”

Jeff pulled over and I got out of the car

“Do you need a lift or some help with your shopping?” I said to her, bending down to her level

She stood up – she was younger than me – she was bending over to do up her shoe lace πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

She looked bemused and a little wary, possibly thinking I was trying to either steal her shopping or flirting with her 😜

She accepted the lift though! πŸ˜ƒ