If you have nothing nice to say …..

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When I first ventured into the blogging world I had a browse at various other sites, trying to familiarise and educate myself as to how to go about blogging.

I happened to stumble across a very well known Parenting Site, that also had a blogging section.  The first post I came across was from a “Virgin blogger” like myself.  She had done a post featuring a poem she had written about her baby and the pros and cons of leaving a baby to self soothe.  It was very twee and slightly mushy, not everyone’s cup of tea, but certainly not offensive – or so I thought!

She was absolutely slaughtered by other mothers!  I was gobsmacked.  She had even made a point of saying this was her very first attempt at blogging and there was in excess of nearly 100 posts, with the majority accusing this girl of implying that if you left your baby to self soothe you were a bad mother!  This girl apologised profusely over and over again saying she didn’t mean to cause offence to anyone – but they continued regardless.  It was bloody horrible.  I wasn’t a member of this group, so was unable to even pipe up with just a few words of support.  Had this been me I don’t think I would have ever felt confident to post anything ever again.  Simply bullying at its worst – by other mothers!

I have to say that since I started blogging on WordPress I’ve been blown away by how lovely people are here.  I’ve never seen any signs of nastiness or horrible comments.  I read posts that I may not agree with – if that’s the case, I just scroll past and it would appear others do the same.  All the comments are polite, interesting and supportive, which makes so much difference.  It’s great to have a healthy debate and to hear others opinions which may differ from your own but no need for anything rude or abusive.

So basically you lovely people out there, thank you, thank you, for every supportive word and comment you’ve sent to me.  I know there are others who would totally agree.

If you have nothing nice to say – don’t say anything at all 😊

29 thoughts on “If you have nothing nice to say …..”

  1. It is terrible to hear how others treated that new blogger and probably new mother. We have enough of our own insecurities as new moms, or new anythings, we certainly don’t need others to belittle us. I hope that woman was able to move past the negative comments and find her voice.

    I will second that ‘thank you, thank you’ because it has taken a really long time for me to ‘go public’ with any of my writing. The support I have found in this community has been amazing. To a point where I’ve asked myself why I hadn’t done this sooner! <3<3<3 :):):)

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    1. Completely agree. I also hope she was able to move on. I can’t bear bullying and people being made to feel insecure about themselves. Strong women support others, it’s usually the insecure that try to pull them down x

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  2. That’s what I love about WordPress. It’s a nice place to be. Whereas other places you find yourself slaughtered for having an opinion, no matter what that opinion may be.
    I had a nervous breakdown because of the way I was treated by some so called friends on Facebook. Women can be pure evil at times.

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      2. I just don’t understand that sort of mentality and unfortunately females are the worst. I never had any issues with the boys all through school but the girls at school – some of them horrible.

        I’m sorry you went through that – I’m glad you’ve walked away from it, although I’m sure the scars are still there xx

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      3. I see them online as they are still friends with some of my friends and it really hurts. But I would never dream of telling someone that they could not be friends with someone because of me.x

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      4. Very difficult for you, I’m sure x as the time goes by you get to know who your true friends are, those that support and defend you – those who hurt and humiliate you are no more than shit on the proverbial shoe x

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  6. Hi there, I absolutely agree with you and I have never understood how people can find the time to leave negative comments on other people’s blogs. Surely theres better things to do with their time? So its a reflection on them rather than the blogger I like to think…

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  7. I’ve only had one comment that I would put in the rude catagory and I just ignored the guy. He was trying to be all “I am a man and therefore smarter than you” Hahahahahahahhaa right! Bye 🙂 Aside from that idiot everyone has been very nice. And you are too.

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  8. I recently read something similar on Danny’s blog (he had shared a post on similar lines) and I shall say the same thing here that I had said to Danny.
    Why is it that people forget to be humane on the online medium. Is it that the anonymity and safety of being behind the computer screen offer a false sense of superiority.
    I feel very strongly about negative comments. And sometimes, a thoughtless remark can really hurt someone so much so that it may destroy their confidence completely. In the example you gave, that lady expressed her own experience and opinion. What right did others have to judge her? If anything, maybe that is her being a better mother because she is letting her child be independent and self-reliant. There is no right or wrong in parenting. And so is the case with so many other things in life.
    Sadly, even in real life, people have loose tongues and give negative comments (not constructive criticism) and hurt the sentiments of someone who may be trying out something new and may be in desperate need of loving encouragement.

    Sorry, I wrote such a long comment. Even after posting my own rant on a similar topic, I still have loads to say I guess.

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    1. I agree with every word you wrote. I think what struck me most was the complete nastiness and derogatory comments, for cheap laughs. This girl was mortified and just kept apologizing to no avail. I guess we all cock up sometimes and say/ write things that may cause offense but when the apology is genuine, the decent thing is to accept it and move on.

      Thank you for your lovely long comment – always welcomed 😊

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      4. I’m the opposite – I do try to never to offend anyone. Sometimes things you write can be misinterpreted and taken the wrong way, especially when people don’t know you well. On my Facebook account I’m foul mouthed and out of control but they know me there and know my personality and get my humour – I would be mortified if I offended anyone x

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      5. I think online sometimes it can’t be helped, I normally read posts in a sarcastic tone cause I am sarcastic, I think a lot of people read the post and don’t realise they are reading it in the tone of voice that they are feeling not the way it was intended

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