Dentists, velociraptors, drugs and all that shit!

What a bloody week I’ve had – I’ve been so drugged up I feel like I’ve done a week at a Rock Festival – but with none of the fun that goes with it 😳

When I was at primary school we used to have a mobile dentist come to the school – in his little caravan.  It was so exciting – we would all queue up, pushing and shoving, desperate to get in that caravan – he was abit like the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang 😄 we would love to have our little shiny teeth looked at – get a sticker and some of that pink stuff to swill around in our little mouths.  And then it all changed 😳 My Mom started taking us to a private dentist.  I could name and shame him cos I know he’s long dead now – I know this because he was about 80 when we used to see him – I think he also had Parkinson’s as he used to shake like fuck when that drill was in our mouths ………… This is where my fear came from!

As a consequence I tend to only go to the dentist when absolutely necessary – or for my children, who have bloody perfect teeth, due, I’m sure, to me forcing a toothbrush in their little mouths making sure they never have cavities.

So off I trotted to see my dentist – at this point I was on pain killers every 4 hours and also antibiotics.  I started to cry as soon as he pinned me down on his chair – with his knee 😳 actually he was really nice and kind – which made me cry even more – how can someone so kind inflict so much pain for a living?  Actually that’s a lie too – he didn’t hurt me – apart from his knee 😳 and even though I behaved like a wailing velociraptor and tried snapping at his fingers – and his knee – throughout it all he was very kind – so kind, infact, that I offered to make him a cake 😄😄😄 this is my way of showing love to my fellow man – I always offer to bake a cake for those I love – rather ironic really – seeing as I’m a shit cook ……

Anyway, the end result was the news that yes the tooth must come out – in hospital – which, incidentally is what I wanted.  I’ve done my research and know this possibly isn’t the best answer – but for me I think it is – and also for my dentist – he needs his fingers to continue his career 😜

I now have to wait till they can fit me in for the procedure, so it was a case of keeping my pain under control.  And oh my god – what pain!!!!  I would happily give birth to all 4 of my children – all together – sideways – than feel that level of pain again.

At the moment I’m in a happy place – slurping mushroom soup and scrambled egg up a straw – dribbling and chuckling in the corner, high as a kite on drugs 😄

If you want money or possibly a cake – now is the time to ask 😳😳

Hippo Workend folks, have a food one 😜