Guilt ……

Hi all – bit of a random title here for me.  But seeing as I’m currently sat here awaiting a consultation with my GP, my over-riding general feeling is guilt – very misplaced guilt – but guilt all the same.

Let me give you some background.  Yesterday I woke early in the morning with, what I knew, was going to be a migraine.  Even after taking painkillers an hour later I was vomiting and continued to do so all day.  My head was feeling like it was going to explode with the pain and in all honesty I wanted to go to A and E but felt too ill to get there Ha!

Today I feel better but very weak and wobbly and frightened that the pain will come back – and on top of all this I feel GUILT!

Guilty that I had to phone in sick, knowing I’m leaving them short-staffed.

Guilty that I had to wake up 1st born to get his sisters to school yesterday.

Guilty that I had to ring Jeff to come home from work as I felt so ill.

Guilty that my little doggie didn’t go out at all yesterday – infact she didn’t leave my bedside – not even to have her dinner – that’s true love – even Jeff and the kids still ate their dinner – but she didn’t ❤️

Guilty that I’m making too much of a fuss and wasting my doctors time.

Oh fuck I know the guilt is so wrong – I’m an intelligent woman – I know I have no reason to feel guilty so why do I?  Why do I always feel guilty for being ill?

If someone else spoke like this I would give them a short sharp talking to but I would also understand because as women I think we do carry a lot of weight on our shoulders and possibly take on everyone else’s worries too.

I will resume to my happy self very soon – if you’ve managed to read this far down, I applaud you, it’s not very interesting reading – I know 😳

I now feel guilty for boring the arse of you all 😜

 

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29 thoughts on “Guilt ……

  1. I’m sorry to hear that your migraine is that horrible! While I completely agree with Daisywillows I also feel that if guilt is what you feel right now, then that is OK. “Whether you believe a thing is possible or impossible, either way, you’ll be right.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer. I hope you feel better soon. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My arse was not bored. I feel guilty about everything. Once, I found the neighbors dog lying in the road. I picked it up, thought it was dead, and carrying it home. I left the neighbors a message to call me, so I could tell them where I lay their dog. I was crying so hard, and the man treated me like I was the one to hit the dog. I felt guilty -and I didn’t do it! Oh, what to do?
    http://www.fiddledeedeebooks.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I was super sick at the beginning of January to the point I had to call out from work 2 days in a row which is not something I do. I felt so guilty about it I apologized numerous times. I even brought them a doctor’s note as proof because in the back of my mind every time I’ve had to call out I think they assume I’m faking.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think everyone should be made to endure the symptoms of migraine at least once in their life! Most non migraine sufferers seem to think it’s just a bad headache and that we are making a big fuss about it. I got to the end, and I’ve just checked my nether regions and it’s still there!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I didn’t know you were Roman Catholic! Seriously, guilt is the most destructive emotion of all, it serves no purpose. You couldn’t help any part of how you felt, you needed help and asked for it, those who could help did, work is just a means to an end, they would understand because the nature of your job is caring and so do they. Now pack it in, feel rubbish, recover and get back to fighting fit. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Migraines are so miserable to experience, and they are particularly difficult when you really want to be able to meet the needs of your family. I have struggled with this as well for the past 15 years and am just now finding some relief. Much of the relief has come via diet changes, but there are some other things that I have found that are helpful. Since it has been so hard to find an effective treatment, I have started a blog with recipes for the diet change, and my next post will be the first in a series of posts with other helpful tips. I want to pass along this information with the hope of helping someone else find something that helps:)

    Liked by 1 person

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