Mirror, mirror, on the wall …..

Not even gonna finish that sentence – the fairest clearly isn’t me judging by the bastard  mirrors in my house! Well apart from one! Ha!

My mirror in my bathroom is seriously the best mirror ever 🙂  This mirror makes me look “hot” yes, it bloody does, even first thing in the morning I look pretty good.  My hair always looks fuller and shinier, when I`ve done my make up, it always looks flawless – no facial hair in sight 🙂 even my boobs look larger than life – lying bastard mirror ……….

I trot down the stairs feeling fab and reach the mirror at the bottom of the stairs ……… In this mirror I look as if I`ve gained 3 stone – I look as if I`ve eaten a doughnut at every stair, my hair has flopped, I have a moustache and a 5 o`clock shadow!  My complexion looks orange, like I`ve been tango`d and I seem to have left my boobs on the landing somewhere!

Depressed, I walk into the lounge to the other mirror where my head looks misshapen and frankly quite scary and the rest of me has deteriorated to the point I`ve been known to fall in a heap on the floor wailing and vowing to never leave the house again!

Like most I don’t go much on what other people look like.  My Mom always said “you can`t judge a sausage by it`s skin” 🙂  I believe looks do attract initially but if someone is ugly on the inside then it very much tars how you perceive them.

So this got me thinking, I wonder what sort of world we would live in if mirrors didn’t exist?  If no one had a bloody clue what they looked like I wonder if our personalities and characters would change – because let`s be honest, the vision we see in the mirror is not a true vision of ourselves anyway.  When I`m stood next to Jeff at the bathroom mirror – yep the lying bastard mirror – I look at Jeff`s reflection and he looks different to how I view him in the flesh – its like sleeping with a “new Jeff” every night Ha! 🙂

When I feel I look good, I feel confident and sassy.  I swan around as if I’m Maria Carey, flirting and flicking my hair and feeling like a million dollars – when actually I look more like Jim Carey!

When I look in that other bastard mirrors I tend to shuffle off, head down and not saying boo to a goose – confidence at zero.

So if we could all make an effort to smash all the mirrors in the world, we would all be happy – living in the little bubble of believing we are “hot” and wouldn’t look out of place on the catwalk – the world would be a happier place, with no one feeling bad about how they look – course, leave my little mirror in the bathroom alone 🙂