Mirror, mirror, on the wall …..

Not even gonna finish that sentence – the fairest clearly isn’t me judging by the bastard  mirrors in my house! Well apart from one! Ha!

My mirror in my bathroom is seriously the best mirror ever 🙂  This mirror makes me look “hot” yes, it bloody does, even first thing in the morning I look pretty good.  My hair always looks fuller and shinier, when I`ve done my make up, it always looks flawless – no facial hair in sight 🙂 even my boobs look larger than life – lying bastard mirror ……….

I trot down the stairs feeling fab and reach the mirror at the bottom of the stairs ……… In this mirror I look as if I`ve gained 3 stone – I look as if I`ve eaten a doughnut at every stair, my hair has flopped, I have a moustache and a 5 o`clock shadow!  My complexion looks orange, like I`ve been tango`d and I seem to have left my boobs on the landing somewhere!

Depressed, I walk into the lounge to the other mirror where my head looks misshapen and frankly quite scary and the rest of me has deteriorated to the point I`ve been known to fall in a heap on the floor wailing and vowing to never leave the house again!

Like most I don’t go much on what other people look like.  My Mom always said “you can`t judge a sausage by it`s skin” 🙂  I believe looks do attract initially but if someone is ugly on the inside then it very much tars how you perceive them.

So this got me thinking, I wonder what sort of world we would live in if mirrors didn’t exist?  If no one had a bloody clue what they looked like I wonder if our personalities and characters would change – because let`s be honest, the vision we see in the mirror is not a true vision of ourselves anyway.  When I`m stood next to Jeff at the bathroom mirror – yep the lying bastard mirror – I look at Jeff`s reflection and he looks different to how I view him in the flesh – its like sleeping with a “new Jeff” every night Ha! 🙂

When I feel I look good, I feel confident and sassy.  I swan around as if I’m Maria Carey, flirting and flicking my hair and feeling like a million dollars – when actually I look more like Jim Carey!

When I look in that other bastard mirrors I tend to shuffle off, head down and not saying boo to a goose – confidence at zero.

So if we could all make an effort to smash all the mirrors in the world, we would all be happy – living in the little bubble of believing we are “hot” and wouldn’t look out of place on the catwalk – the world would be a happier place, with no one feeling bad about how they look – course, leave my little mirror in the bathroom alone 🙂

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55 thoughts on “Mirror, mirror, on the wall …..

      1. I try…I do shave occasionally you know; okay I’m going to stop lying…I shave as about as often as those little sucker hairs start to grow back -like everyday! I haven’t frightened you away have I? Kevin? Kevin? Kevin, You still there Hon?

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Apologies, that was meant as a response to Ms. Šahíyena. I think this thread is getting so deep we’re probably never find daylight now.

        But I did find it surprising you don’t.

        Like

  1. I agree, some mirrors just get it all wrong! I would waltz past the downstairs mirror without sparing it a glance. Yeah, a world with no mirrors may just be what we need.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very funny stuff and very familiar. I love my full-length bedroom mirror for the same reason. I’ve gotten to where I see other women out in public and wonder if that’s how I look to other people. My husband has caught on to this little game and as I glance over at him he automatically responds, “No, you do not look like that enormous woman in sweat pants and slippers with fifteen chins and a hairy mole.” Sheesh. If I could just look like that other image in my mind…what a hottie I’d be. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smash that mirror Don – beauty on the inside 😁 I’ve worked with the elderly and witnessed them looking in the mirror at thinking “who the hell is that” they would still see themselves as young and beautiful 😊 – you’re clearly not at that stage yet 😁 I’m looking forward to those times 😁

      Liked by 1 person

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