Monthly Archives: January 2016

The Working Mom

This weekend 3rd born lasted 24 hours on her Brass Monkey Scout Camp and came home a night early.  That was all fine, her and her little friend both said they felt unwell but I’m thinking it was more to do with being bloody exhausted, cold and muddy!

What was very hard to deal with though was her phone call to me late last night on her return.  I was halfway through a 16 hour shift and still had another 8 hours of a nightshift to do.

Little sobbing tears “I want you to come home Mommy” 😢

On one end of the scale I wanted to do nothing more than get in my car and come home to comfort her – and I know there would be folk out there who would come out with that old raspberry “nothing is more important than my child – I would have left and been there”

But – sometimes it’s really not that simple.

Last night in my work capacity I was responsible for 9 vulnerable adults – I couldn’t just “get in my car and go home to my crying child” even though my child is clearly more important than anything else.

3rd born was safe and warm at home with her Dad and family.  If I ran out of my job every time any one of my children requested I would no longer have a job – and as a consequence – they wouldn’t have a roof over their head and a full tummy!

I’ve always worked – from the age of 14 – I’ve always worked.  I work because I have to – to pay the mortgage and bills.  I’m fortunate to do a job that I love.  But even if money was not an issue – I would still work – because this gives me a sense of self- respect and pride.  I’m healthy and intelligent – why would I chose not to work and not offer something back to society?

I hope I have taught my children a good work ethic and that you shouldn’t get something for nothing in this world – if you want something you must work for it.

I hope they are secure enough of my love to never, ever, feel second best to anything or anybody in my life but also realise that I have a responsibility in other areas of my life outside the home.

Course I’ve told her I’m not going to work tonight – I’m staying home with her instead – which has given us both a little warm fuzzy feeling inside ❤️




“Stop making your eyes go cross-eyed!” I said to 4th born

“I want glasses” she says “and someone in my class has eyes like this and wears glasses”

“Yes but they can’t help having eyes that don’t work properly, your eyes are fine”

“Well I’m going to stay like this till I get glasses!” 😜

Off she stropped – and fell over the dog 😂😂😂




Just the 3 of us ❤️

Before Jeff came into my life – it was just the 3 of us – just me, 1st and 2nd born.


It was hard being on my own sometimes – I had to learn how to parent two boys of 11 and 9 who were having to adapt to their parents separating – but they had, and still have, a fantastic father who was always involved in their upbringing even though we were no longer together.

I look back now with lovely memories of just us.  We grew together for those years.  We fought, we argued – but we stood together – a little army of 3 ❤️


Jeff and I moved in together, just before 3rd born arrived, and once again they had to adapt to having a man about the house, plus a new baby sister and Kiera the Siamese.

Picture 027

Life moved on to 4th born arriving – now two baby sisters 😍  How they loved their little sisters – so much so, Jeff complained that he hardly got a look in at times as the girls were constantly in someone else’s arms!


4th born was less than a year old when Jeff was made redundant.  After months of trying to find work with no success we were left with only one job offer – in South Africa, Jeff’s homeland.

After a lot of discussions and tears we agreed he had to take the opportunity – we would have lost our home if he didn’t.  He left in November 2008 and didn’t return home permanently until the end of 2009 – whilst I stayed in England.

I was on my own again – this time with the boys and their two baby sisters.


I saw Jeff only twice in that year – for a total of 4 weeks.

It was a nightmare time.  I was working full time and having to juggle childcare and was still breastfeeding – I had never felt so tired ever and would fall into bed each night exhausted and lonely.

And there were my Sons.  At the ages of 15 and 17 they became mini surrogate fathers to their baby sisters.  There was nothing they didn’t do for their sisters – they fed them, bathed them, changed nappies, rocked them, comforted them – only thing they didn’t do was breastfeed them 😄 I honestly would never have managed without them beside me, supporting me and keeping my spirits up!

They are now 21 and 23 and are flying the nest very soon.  They’ve both given me grief at times, they’ve both had their own demons to conquer but throughout it all they stand beside me as my staunch defenders – a bit like Ronnie and Reggie Kray 😜

I love them to the moon and back – many many times ❤️


Steady little birds as you fly from my nest

Whilst pictures of you I hold to my chest

Unconditionally I’ve loved you for 20 plus years

And words of wisdom I’ve said in your ears


Go forth and conquer this wonderful world

As I take a moment the memories swirled

of beautiful babies who I held so dear

I look at you now and wipe an odd tear


So proud of you both my wonderful sons

I guess for now my work is all done

No wait, of course, not, your momma forever

For we have a bond that nothing could sever



The No Mirror Challenge – the verdict 😜

I know, I know – I’m a night early and should be doing this tomorrow evening but I’m out tomorrow and I’m sure there is someone somewhere on the Blogosphere who is eagerly awaited my verdict 😳 is there?  Hello?  Hello?  Yoohoo?

Anyway here we go ……….

Once upon a time there was a little boy on his way to the park to play football.  He was hurrying as he wasn’t allowed out for too long and was looking forward to seeing his friends.

As he came down the road he saw an old lady.  She was almost bent double carrying two heavy bags of groceries.  As the little boy approached he could see how much she was struggling.

“Can you help me across the road?” she cackled at the little boy with a toothless smile

The little boy was startled, she truly looked like the old witch in Hansel and Gretel.  He hesitated, boy was she a scary sight! And he was desperate to get to the park – but he was a kind little boy so took the heavy bags from her knarled old hands and dutifully carried them across the road.

When they reached the other side she smiled her thanks and in a flash of light turned into a beautiful princess who granted the little boy three wishes ……….

The moral of this story is this – beauty is on the inside – never judge someone from how they look – there just may be a beautiful princess inside!

This is the story I’ve told to all four of my children as they were growing up – always telling them not to judge from the outside.

Of course it has backfired a few times – like the time I took 1st and 2nd born down to the nursing home I was currently working at and they looked expectantly at all the old ladies awaiting a transformation and three wishes …….. 😄

Anyway my week of not using a mirror and finding my inner beauty has not gone bad at all – I will confess I relapsed at the weekend but that was unavoidable.

No kind child offered to carry my shopping though – probably just as well as I didn’t have any wishes to give away!

I also came to the conclusion that I don’t look in the mirror half as much as I thought I did – probably why I look like a scarecrow most of the time – a happy scarecrow 😃

Beware of this little witch – she’s likely to put a spell on you!


The Reunion

She was sat in the Foyer of the Hotel, a petite elderly lady. Her hair beautifully styled, her tiny hands twisting on her lap clearly showing her pretty pink nail polish, it was easy to notice that she had just reapplied a little perfume and powdered her nose.  There she sat, deliberately looking out of the window, almost as if she couldn’t bear to see anyone approaching.

I knew she was there, waiting, waiting for me.  I had waited 8 years for this moment.

I walked towards her, she turned, I held open my arms.  Her face crumpled and she began to cry.  I knelt on the floor beside her and wrapped my arms around her tiny frame.  She held me, stroking my hair, kissing my face and and softly whispered endearments to me

“You’re so beautiful” she said “I’ve never stopped thinking about you”

We both cried and held each other.

“I don’t know what to say to you” she said

“You don’t have to say anything” I reassured her “everything is fine”

“Did I do the right thing?”

“Yes” I smiled “yes you did”

She looked at me, holding my face in her hands and smiled

“You have your father’s eyes” ❤️