Last year`s Note to Self: Don’t, under any circumstances, buy any more fucking wrapping paper, you have enough to last 5 years!
This year`s Note to Self: Don’t take any fucking notice of any future Notes to Self!
Today, wrapping parcels – I run out of fucking wrapping paper! Which meant I had to drag my carcass around a busy town centre, fighting my way through happy folk, full of Christmas cheer, actually most of them were as miserable as sin – they probably made their own Note to Self, which also turned out to be a load of bollocks too 🙂
Apologies for language folks, I swear in my writing to avoid me swearing at off-spring, which believe me takes a great display of self-control especially right now 🙂
However, I think after yesterday`s phone call, I won`t have to bother wrapping anything for 4th born cos Santa will run a mile when he hears about her latest …………..
Up until yesterday I was full of the Christmas spirit – well full of mince pies and cashew nuts – but they count as Christmas spirit in my eyes 🙂 I was happily nibbling away, wrapping up Christmas parcels, listening to the Christmas Album and singing along to Band Aid, wiping a little tear when I thought of all those poor little children and thinking about how fortunate my little children were in comparison, my heart filling with love for them – and then the School rang………….
Initially I wasn’t concerned. I pride myself on the fact that everyone of my off-spring are well-behaved, they may act like trolls at home but at school they always got brilliant school reports, always polite and helpful bla bla bla. So I figured they were ringing to tell me 3rd or 4th born were Star of the Week 🙂 But, how fucking wrong can you be!!
4th born`s teacher very apologetically told me that 4th born`s behaviour had left a lot to be desired lately, she seems to have found her confidence (cockiness) and asserting herself rather forcefully (being gobby) etc etc. To say I was upset was an understatement! I apologised profusely and said I would be speaking to her when she got home, I was just thanking her for her call when she interrupted me “Actually Mrs Gardiner, there was something else” Ooooooh maybe she still made top of the House Point list but not bloody likely – “Well, we were having a discussion time about behaviour and Lana told myself and the class that when she was naughty, you locked her in a cupboard” WHAT!!!!!!!
Who the fuck does she think she is – Harry-fucking-Potter!!!
I actually laughed at the absurdity of the statement, but then gathered myself together and said I understood they had to take these things seriously but in all honesty I didn’t have a cupboard big enough to put her in which isn’t filled with crap! However, I may find one now!
As a consequence 4th born wasn’t allowed to enrol in Cubs last night – she cried and cried and wrote me a letter which said how sorry she was but could she please go to “CUBES” – I sent her back to her room and suggested she practice her spellings instead 🙂 🙂