Yeah yeah I know its all for a good cause and all that and bloody great fun for the kids to dress up instead of wearing boring school uniform, but, really?
“Dress up as your favourite Super Hero, Cartoon Character, Story Book Character bla bla bla!” This is all well and good if you:
a) have the creative touch and are one of those mothers who can whip up a costume with a piece of old sheet – I can’t!
b) have some imagination and be really enthusiastic about the whole bloody thing – I’m not!
c) have a cupboard – full to the brim with glitter, face-paints and all kinds of shit like that – I do – but its called the Kitchen!
c) and lastly – BE TOLD MORE THAN HALF AN HOUR BEFORE BLOODY SCHOOL!!!!
I`ve just done an 8 hour nightshift – I walk in the door to Kiera the spoilt pampered Siamese (the love of Jeff`s life) wailing like a banshee for food – have you heard a Siamese cry? they are like new-born babies desperate to be breast-fed! Peppa the Jack Russell permanently under my feet, in case, just in case, I walk out the door for a dog walk – minus the bloody dog! Sandwiches to be made, ensure girls have everything they need in their bags, Jeffrey yelling for loo rolls and then, just then, they give it to me with two barrels “Mom, we`re dressing up today – I’m going as Mrs Doubtfire and Lana is going as Superman”
Arrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! and when exactly did you intend to tell me about this?
“There`s a letter in the bottom of my school bag” replies 3rd born ………………..
I reply sweetly “I only have half an hour to get you ready for school, I don`t have time to make a costume in half an hour”
When really I want to scream “For fucks sake!! I’m not a fucking mind reader, I don`t have fucking x-ray eyes to look through your school bag!!!”
Anyway the end result was 3rd born wearing her scout uniform – she`s Russell from UP 🙂 and fourth born wearing a pair of glasses – she`s Clark Kent! They`re chuffed to bits 🙂 I’m a bloody genius – in fact I should be on Art Attack or Blue Peter 🙂 🙂